Something to Whet Your Appetite

It’s no secret that my lifelong dream is to be a successful published author, therefore in my pursuit of that dream I am in the process of writing two books and one short story submission. My goal is to join the Triple Crown family and to have one of my short stories published by Noire. Every time I read an Urban Novel I think to myself “hey I can do this” and when it comes to erotic tales I know I can churn out a juicy tale or two. Although writing is my passion it is also a process, which can be a quite daunting task. I have stories and characters for days and I can write about anything and any genre (except Sci-fi) but editing and formatting is just not the most pleasurable experience for a creative left-brained person like me. However my work is a representation of me and writing is my form of artwork so it’s very personal, and I want to produce a quality product. I aim to submit nothing less than a perfect manuscript to the publishers out there. Publishers receive hundreds of submissions and I need to make sure my work stands out for its originality and creativity and not for formatting and editing errors. I am kind of a shy person but my writing can be very bold, and the idea of having my work reviewed and critiqued I must admit is a bit scary. The purpose of my blog is to overcome these fears, it is you my dear readers who get first dibs at my writing, so consider yourselves lucky and “Welcome to exclusiveness…”

So today I am sharing with you a small excerpt from one of my Submissions entitled

Paper Doll


Once in my room I shut the door and changed into my night gown. I went into the bathroom and washed the makeup from my face. I re-entered the room surprised to see Pedro sitting on the bed. He was drunk and a wretched combination of cognac and sweat seeped from his pores.

“Alex really likes your mother.” His speech was slurred making his Spanish accent more prominent. I didn’t respond, I was nervous as hell and I wanted him out of my room.
“…and I really like you Danni.” He winked at me and it made my skin itch “but you don’t like me” he let out a sigh “you like Jesus, or maybe you like this even more eh?” He stood up and placed 10 c-notes on my dresser.

I looked over at the cash as Pedro walked toward me. I was frozen, the thought of having sex with Pedro made my stomach turn, that combined with the few drinks I had earlier made me nauseous. I turned toward the bathroom, but Pedro grabbed me by the waist from behind. I was too afraid to put up a fight. I didn’t want to make a scene in Alex’s home and for some odd reason I didn’t want Jesus to know that I was about to get fucked by Pedro. He grabbed my hair and bent me over the bed. He pushed my night gown up and roughly palmed my tight round butt. He reeked of cigars and liquor. There was no foreplay or sweet words, no gentle touches or soft moments. I cringed as Pedro’s hard dick forced its way into my vagina. I wasn’t wet or turned on one bit, but Pedro continued to hump me and slur his words speaking in Spanish. I didn’t know what he was saying and I didn’t care I just wanted it to be over as soon as possible. He drooled and drops of his sweat leaked on my back as he stroked my hair. He withdrew right before he climaxed and blew his sticky load on my ass cheek.

“That’s a good girl.” He gazed at me and stumbled out of the room.

I ran to the bathroom and jumped into the shower, I wanted his smell off of me. I felt disgusted as I sat on the bed and stared at the $1000.00 he’d left on my dresser. I was saddened and ashamed as my thoughts once again drifted to the love of my life, Kelz. I fiddled with the Tiffany necklace Alex had given me and thought to myself maybe I can’t do this. Maybe I can’t be Alex’s “doll” after all, cheapening myself for the pleasure of Alex’s rich friends. Played with and tossed to the side like a “rag doll” maybe this wasn’t for me. Then I thought of mama, and Joe-Joe, Kareem and grandma, the cold streets of North Philly compared to the warm comfort of Alex’s 2000 thread count Egyptian sheets. I needed Kelz; his love was the only real thing in my world. Joe-Joe was fully seduced by Alex and I was already losing my grip. Mama was also under Alex’s spell, and I could feel myself slipping too. Filling all of my emotional space with material waste, Alex was paid and could give me whatever I wanted, but without Kelz I felt like something was missing. I curled up on the bed and drifted off to sleep.

Stop Tripping Cause I'm Not

I got the one chick she so immature...like to show out in public throw tantrums on the floor

-JayZ

Most men always claim they don’t want drama in their lives and women are always so dramatic, but it seems when we (women) keep things chill and low key men don’t know how to respond. When we place no demands and are unaffected by their inconsistencies men get a little insecure. It has been my experience that most men get a rise out of having a girl act “crazy” they brag to their friends about how much “Shorty is tripping”. The drama a woman brings when she behaves out of character well let’s face it fellas is a great ego stroke and y’all eat it up. So after having a conversation with a very close friend of mine this poem was born. It’s kinda like my poem Nigga Sick except it’s geared toward the fellas and obviously much shorter. Enjoy…


Stop Tripping cause I’m not Tripping
Why I gotta act a fool for you to play it cool
Why I gotta shout and scream act all mean for you to see the beauty in me
I’m chilling tryna keep things light but seems you wanna declare war every damn night
I’m being me accepting this situation for what it is to be but you can’t deal with the tranquility
I like to keep the peace but for some reason it’s drama you want to increase
I won’t go outside of my character and behave all over the top
Boy stop tripping, cause I’m not
You gave me all the rules and laid your game out loud and clear
Intensions were duly noted so when I’m cool with it why you gotta act all weird
Is it that your plans weren’t sincere, were you anticipating that I wouldn’t hear
Hoping I’d ignore the rules and bend a stripe or two just for you
Waiting for the other shoe to drop, surprised I haven’t smashed your windows with a rock
Boy stop tripping, cause I’m not
Making and breaking plans just for fun, thinking this time is gonna be the one
Sending mixed messages you’re so confused son
I don’t wanna bust your bubble or put you on the spot
So please stop tripping, cause I’m not

Hi me, Hi you, Haiku!

Playful Verse

Non- rhyming verse, 5 syllables 7 syllables and 5 syllables again. Traditionally Haiku poems are about nature or seasons, they should be objective and not subjective which to me is the opposite of poetry. Leave it to the Japanese to make the creative process of writing poetry so analytical, anyway in an effort to stretch my writing chops here’s my attempt at a Haiku Poem. I followed the rules and kept an open mind hope you guys like…

Raindrops on green leaves
Sunbeams shine warming the earth
Spring is full of life

I Call This One Devil's Advocate

I Pledge Allegiance To Your Marriage:

Okay so I’m sitting here watching Basketball Wives cracking up at all the drama and loving the ladies' style. Reality TV is such a guilty pleasure of mine. Anyway the “wives” main topic of conversation is the plight of being in a relationship with a pro athlete, you know the groupies, the infidelity, wondering what your man is doing while he’s on the road and blah blah blah. So I’m watching this one episode where they approach a known “groupie” and basically go in on her, lmao. It’s no secret that pro athletes and men in general are surrounded by temptation at all times. There are groupies on all levels from the around the way neighborhood chicks, to the “Superheads” in the industry.

At some point in their lives every woman has either dealt with infidelity or played the role of a mistress and if she says she hasn’t she’s either in denial or extremely gullible. Watching this episode of Basketball Wives made me think of Tiger Woods and Cynthia Shackleford, the woman who gained notoriety for suing her husband’s mistress. Tiger irks me because he was so sloppy with his shit. Dealing with infidelity is one thing but having all your dirty laundry aired in the public eye is another. What Tiger does behind closed doors is his business and it has no bearing on how great an athlete he is, but he should’ve done a better job of keeping his sideline in check. As for the Shackleford’s situation I know most females would stand up and applaud her for what she did, but I take the opposite stance on this issue.

Wives complain about mistresses and groupie chicks all the time. They talk about how the chick knew he was married, how the mistress targeted their husbands, how these women put themselves on display and throw themselves at men, and for those reasons they place the blame of their husband’s infidelity on the mistress. Taking all their anger and frustration out on the “other woman” who was simply doing what she does best. I’m not saying what these mistresses do is right but in my opinion the anger and hostility of these jilted wives and girlfriends is misdirected. As they scream and rant, kick fight and claw at the mistress the man who promised to love them and be true is absolved of all responsibilities and his role in the situation is overshadowed by the female drama. Plus he gets to sit back and enjoy a good cat fight.

Now don’t get me wrong as you read this blog, I’ve been there egging my homegirl on while she cursed out some slutty hussy that was sleeping with her man and I’ve even cursed out a slutty whore or two myself. However in the end I make the MAN responsible for breaking his vow. I’m all about girl power and sisterhood but blaming the female in an adulterous affair in my opinion is the opposite of sisterhood. These women who blame the other woman are sending the wrong message… “Oh my poor (stupid) husband/boyfriend fell victim to this groupie’s slutty ways. How could he refuse her look how she carries herself” It seems we women are more willing to turn on each other than to place the blame where it rightfully should be. The cold truth is you know your man and if it wasn’t shorty down the block it would’ve been homemgirl around the corner.

I’m not saying all men cheat but I do believe that western culture puts some unrealistic expectations in people’s minds when it comes to relationships. I love the idea of marriage and commitment and I hope to be married one day. However If you look at other societies and cultures men can take on as many wives as they can afford to support, and in most cases there is a kind of hierarchy (like a first wife, or mother wife…) which ensures everyone knows their role/place in an effort to prevent any drama. And if one gets out of pocket it’s the man’s responsibility to make it right not the wives’.

The attitude that women “trap” men into cheating is part of the reason that I’m single now. I refuse to absolve my man from the responsibility of keeping his word to me. You won’t blow our money on your mistress and say “she made me do it”, you won’t embarrass me by putting our business in the street because “she made me do it” you won’t expose me to STD’s and say “she made me do it”. Men need to learn how to keep their shit in check or just don’t cheat. Unfortunately this will not happen until women place the blame where it should be. At the end of the day it was your man who vowed to honor, love and cherish you forsaking all others to death do you part. It was you and him who decided to commit to and respect your relationship, NOT the mistress or the groupie. She has no allegiance to your marriage and no stake in the success of your relationship so why place the blame on her when your man cheats on you. Why make her responsible for your dude breaking his vow.

You can talk about disrespect all day long but in the end no one put a gun to your man’s head and made him cheat. Instead of tearing each other down women should stand together and make the man responsible for his actions. Shackelford and the mistress should’ve gotten together and sued her husband for his role in the situation, hang his ass out to dry and move on. You gotta pay to play homeboy. LOL Smiley-face Have a nice day (In my Nicky Minaj voice of course)

...Or DIVA for Short

Dynamic Individual Vivacious Attitude:

As a self proclaimed Diva I love all things feminine and girly. As a child I didn’t know exactly what to call my obsession with all things girly I just knew a loved dresses with ruffles, shiny shoes and had to have my “signature Aneesah Blocker Bang” as my mother and sister so affectionately called it. I loved wearing my hair out and dressing up, I loved Lisa Frank (I’m dating myself I know lol), I identified with Jem, as well as Punky Brewster and I played with paper dolls (we couldn’t always afford Barbie and all her accessories). I was teased by my sister and my mother and even my peers, but any excuse to dress up I jumped on it. I wore my ruffle dress to a house party once and I stood out like a sore thumb. I still have a scar under my eye from falling when I wore my dressy shoes to school after my mother warned me not to. Basically if it was sparkly, glittery or had ruffles I had to have it! Now since my childhood years (I like to think that) my fashion sense has improved but I still love sparkly, shiny and glittery things. I remember my homegirl’s sister once asked me “Aneesah why you always wearing something shiny/glittery?” and I jokingly replied “because I’m a star”

In my opinion one of the most important aspects of being a diva is being yourself and of course you must Love being a girl! Divahs come in all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, color, religions and creeds. All Divas have certain (as the French put it) j'ne Sais quoi, that one thing that makes them unique. That something special that commands attention, and exudes a quiet (or sometimes) loud confidence. Divas don’t have to be the center of attention at all times but we do enjoy admiration. Divas are Dynamic Individuals with Vivacious Attitudes, and here’s a list of some of my favorite DIVAS.

1. Mariah Carey: Love her or hate her but she will always be at the top of my Diva list, I’ve been a fan since Vision of Love, and when I saw girlfriends closet on MTV cribs I fell in love, and then she got on that treadmill in her heels hunny DIVAAAAAA!!!

2. Kimora Lee: Stunning, beautiful and a smart business woman “I live in the papers darling” Love her!!!

3. Lynn Whitfield: Always classy and portrayed Josephine Baker beautifully (another one of my faves btw) and played that role in “A Thin Line Between Love in Hate” hunnyyyyy Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

4. Lisa Raye: A real live Baroness (well ex now) need I say more, From Player’s club to Diplomat status. Love her…sb…but I didn’t like that show All of Us though lol

5. Dita Von Teese: Classic does what she does like no one else can.

6. Nicky Minaj: My new fave she is just so creative and talented “a Monsta!”

7. My Mother: She’d kill me, but she can be the biggest diva at times. Not one to really get her hands dirty, she has her moments especially when she says things like… “can’t we pay someone to do that?” Loveeeee Her endlessly

Feel free to share some of your faves too

xoxo

It Was Written So It Shall Be Done:

It Was Written So It Shall Be Done:

So just for nostalgic kicks I decided to take a gander at my high school year book, plus with FB reconnecting folks from your past I was tempted to go back and take a walk down memory lane. So I’m flipping through the pages laughing and remembering the carefree, drama filled teenage years of high school, reading the heart filled dedications parents and relatives put in the last pages getting all teary eyed. There’s no experience like high school, I remember begging and pleading with my mother to allow me to go to City College High School, but it was out of the question my options were Mercy Catholic High or Loch Raven High School and due to financial issues Loch Raven High it was (I went to Catholic School for elementary and loved it, but Mercy girls had a rep more on dat in another blog *wink*). So here I am laughing at the crazy things my friends wrote in my yearbook and reading the little captions folks get to put next to their pictures. You know your basic shout out to their BFFs, mentions of fun they had on spring break or during Senior week etc. The captions were typical, I miss you; I’ll never forget the time when… and blah blah blah, but not your girl. Here’s what I wrote…

“I’d like to express my gratitude to those who have been there for me through thick and thin, both tranquil seas and turbulent winds in these hails (typo should’ve been halls) I’ll leave memories that begin with first day freshmen fears and end with senior graduation jitters. Thanks to all the people who made every moment memorable. ILY mom good luck Cherrian, Corrine and Farenia (still my bffs to this very day btw) FUTURE: Study Psychology, Write two books, design a home, marry rich, make crazy mad money, have three beautiful children…”

A poet since age nine I had to make it special. Reading that little caption made me think I haven’t accomplished all that I (thought) I wanted to do yet, but the goals haven’t changed much at all. It’s funny to look back at the person I was and discover my hopes and dreams are still the same. I look at it as a testament to my maturity level back then. I wanted my high school caption to be meaningful and fun, and I’m glad I strayed from the typical shout outs and blah, blah, blah. Now as for achieving my goals; I only have 2 biological children but I have the cutest goddaughters in the world :), I haven’t found my wealthy husband yet, but I’m working on that (lol) and building my own wealth while I’m waiting, and the most important goal (write two books) let’s just say one down and one more to go. I encourage everyone to pull out there yearbooks and consider what would that person in the senior portrait think of the person they have become. Is it everything your 17 year old heart dreamed it would be?

Please Listen to My Demo P-ppplease Listen to my Demo

Okay I've worked hard selecting and perfecting my poems to publish my book. Spent my hard earned fifty bucks to purchase an ISBN, and e-mailed all my friends and family about my accomplishment, so what happens now... Shameless self promotion that's what. However thoes who know me best know that I am rather shy and a pretty private person, so needless to say I am struggling with this process. I believe in my talents and I don't mind working hard to make my dreams come true, but I must admit I am a bit...okay a lot nervous about putting my name out there and promoting my book. I want to be sucessful but where do I begin? I've tweeted and emailed, my spaced and skyped, I want folks to not only buy my book but LOVE my writing, I realize that not everyone will feel where I'm coming from and I'm bracing myself for the feedback. So here I am at home on a Saturday afternoon, making business cards, creating flyers and debating about making a facebook fan page. Everyone must start somewhere and I just want to get my name out there, maybe I'll attract the attention of a great literary agent! So wish me luck dear readers as I take the first steps in the long journey of persuing my life's dream.

Please Excuse My Absence

It's been awhile since I posted to my blog but I've been working hard on my writing and now it's Official I'm a published author Yay!!!

The Divah In My Delivery The Damsel To His Chivalry by By: Aneesah C. Blocker | Make Your Own Book