Tell 'em Why U mad son! Tell 'em Why You mad

Opinions Are Like Assholes, And Yours Is Shitty

I am kinda shy and reserved, which can work against me when it comes to the task of promoting my book and getting my name out there. When you present yourself and your work in a public forum you open yourself up to the opinions, praise and criticism of others. Now any fool knows when you’re in the public you gotta have thick skin, and realize that your flavor may not be EVERYONES favorite. Which is why I respect published authors and artists so much. However there is a difference between constructive criticism, an opinion and just plain old bashing.

Some folks’opinions or criticism may carry more weight than others, for various reasons. A) they’re a known, trusted and respected source with years of experience in the business, B) they have a proven track record of recognizing a winner from a dud, or C) they have influence over a large number of people who value their opinion, which gives them power, but that doesn’t necessarily make them an expert. A very recent experience exposed me to the latter, and that person’s actions left a sour taste in my mouth regarding the politics of the writing/publishing business. However I guess I must thank him for opening my eyes to the ugly side of the business. I tend to turn a blind eye to some of the ugliness and negativity in the world and search for the positive instead (one of my Pisces qualities). So I’m growing my thick skin, and learning as I grow, but I will always remain a lover and not a fighter.

Below is my open letter/comment to the group I belong to on FB regarding the impact a certain reviewer had on the group. I’m posting it to my blog because I DO NOT want anyone who reads this to make the mistake that my words represent ANYONE but myself. I don’t want my words to reflect negatively upon anyone else or draw any unwanted attention or an unsavory backlash. I take full responsibility for what I say in My blog. These are my original thoughts uninfluenced by anyone or group. And with that being said if anyone has a problem with it, by all means don’t read it, and tell all of your friends as well….

Oh so you mean to tell me that we’re not allowed to defend our work in the literary world? I give birth to my writing instilling my sweat and tears for me each sentence, poem, short story, or book I write is like my child. I see the beauty in my work regardless of what anyone else says and a mother protects her children at all cost. It’s only natural for a creator to love their creation. If I put time and effort into something pouring out my heart and soul best believe I’m gonna stand beside it with pride and go after anyone who tries to tear it down. As artist/creators we are biased which is why constructive criticism is so very important, but on the flip side some opinions really JUST don’t matter.

After reading the weird/negative review (or opinion) “The Mad Reviewer” posted on Amazon I posted one comment because I felt that’s all he deserved. Why devote hours and 60 comment long threads to something so negative? “The Mad Reviewer” still is and will remain a non-f’ factor in my book, which is why you won’t find his Gov name anywhere in this blog post. Sigh it’s a shame we gave Whatshisname more attention/power than he deserved. I’m still kinda confused on what makes him such a reputable source/book reviewer anyway. Has he worked for any world renown publications, has he had a column in any major magazines or media outlets? Have any of his reviews been printed on the back or inside cover of any New York Times best sellers or Pulitzer prize-winning works of fiction? Who died and made him the Ebert and Roeber of the literary world. It seems to me that Whatshisname is just One bookstore owner who just happens to have enough time on his hands to log on to Amazon and write reviews. And who the heck writes reviews on a game and puzzle books anyway? The Mad Reviewer that’s who! Being a bookstore owner may afford him access to specific circles in the writing world that some us (mere readers) may not have but in the end he’s just ONE man with ONE opinion, and you know what they say about opinions.

The fact that he has influence, and he’s choosing to use it to slander Noire’s name and work speaks volumes about his creditability and his character (as does his flimsy review). He danced around every valid question and discussion point Noire and Black Fist made and went straight to belittling her fans’ intelligence. When challenged to an intellectual exchange he chose to take the low road, and when a few members hit below the belt, he choose to stoop even lower by trying to basically “blacklist” Noire’s books. How ridiculous can you be Mr. Mad Reviewer, this 2011 not the 1950’s. If they can’t get it at your store or your “so called” friends' stores trust and believe it can be purchased elsewhere. I find it very ironic how he insulted the group calling us lemmings and exactly what would you call the individuals who he’s influencing not to purchase Noire’s book (without reading it first and forming their own opinion). Clearly The Mad Reviewer’s anger is misguided and misdirected, but who am I to offer free therapy or waste time trying to figure him out. I’m sure he’ll work out his issues on his own; “tell em why you mad son! Tell em why you mad?” You stepped into the lions’ den with a steak around your neck (your review) and expected to come out unscathed. Were we not supposed to challenge your review? Sorry we didn’t get the memo, what’d you say your name was again?

The backlash from whatshisname’s review shows the ugly side of the business that scares me so much. As a writer I consider myself an artist and I don’t want to be wrapped up in the politics of the business I just wanna create.

Noire I’m sadden that you won’t be as active in the group as you were before, but I completely appreciate and understand your position in needing to protect your Brand and your work. Just know that the creator blessed you with an awesome gift and the reviews of one person or one million people cannot change that or take it away. Noire keep doing you, because your true fans and readers would never abandon you because you had an opinion about some bookstore owners review.

P.S The Mad Reviewer saying crap like: “I like Noire I’m a Noire fan, I sell her books at my store” to me is like a white person saying “I’m not a racist some of my best friends are black” It’s weak and ungenuine just like his review and I see right through you Judas

Yall go get that G-spot 2 Pride: The 1st Deadly Sin I promise you will not be disappointed.

Peace

Time Waits for No Woman

Time Waits for No Woman

So they say women know within the first 30 seconds of meeting a dude whether or not she’ll sleep with him. One comedian (I can’t remember which) stated that if a man says hello to you then he’s offering you some dick,these fun “facts” got me to thinking. Women are racing against the clock on just about everything in life, and we usually always put a time frame on things, if they aren't already imposed upon us. We race against our biological clocks, career clocks, aging clocks we’re bombarded by time; lose 10 pounds in 10 days, grow thicker lashes in two weeks, get healthier skin in 7 days, turn back the signs of aging in 3 weeks, I could go on and on. Its seems men have the luxury of doing whatever they want, however they want and Whenever they decide. Men can produce their entire lives (as long as they can get it up), an older man is considered distinguished an older woman is just old. There’s no stigma to being an older unmarried man, but a woman well clearly she’s flawed if she hasn’t found a man to marry her.

Some women will stay in a relationship with a man with hopes of marriage until she feels too worn to ditch him and re-enter the dating game, while some will skate quickly if she feels the relationship is headed nowhere slowly. I personally have a 3-5 year maximum, if you don’t know if you’re ready to make the commitment of marriage after 5 years I’m gone. I know its easier said than done, spending 5 yrs of your life building a relationship with someone and then walking away, but I’m not one to be strung along; Shit or get off the pot! There has to be progress one way or another. Imagine working a job for five years with no promotion, no opportunity for advancement, no pay increase, no benefit package, nothing to show for your years of service except the stability of being in the SAME damn position. Imagine if you were constantly told “eventually we’re gonna promote you” and five years down the line still no promotion, how much longer would you stay and wait around? Yes I just compared a relationship to a job, relationships take work and can be very rewarding just like a job. One can be emotionally invested in their job just like you become emotionally invested in your relationship. I'm just saying men have the luxury of time that society doesn’t (normally) grant to women.

So I’m curious how long does it take a man to decide if “she’s the one”? I'm referring to the men who enjoy the idea of marriage and being in a committed relationships not the ones you have to drag to the alter kicking and screaming. It takes a man a split second to decide if a woman is fuckable that night, but how long does it take to determine if she’s Lovable for the rest of your lives.

Apparently Sex (still) Sells

Howdy dear readers, I know my blogs are always far and few between but aren’t all luxurious things usually in limited supply ;) Anyway enough stroking my Divah Ego, and down to business. I’ve been working on short stories and my two books, doing a little research and reviewing some of my past work. In my quest to make a name for myself in the writing world I seek out writing contests and other venues where I can share my talents. Although I haven’t yet graduated to doing an actual poetry reading, I’m perfectly comfortable sharing my writings and musings in a social media platform. My latest conquest is an erotic short story competition. In trying to get my creative voice heard I’ve found that the topic of Erotica is in high demand. I’ve mentioned before that I can write in ANY genre (except science fiction) and my comfort zone is street lit, and fiction stories involving a lead heroine who overcomes her circumstances. However somehow I have slipped into the Erotic fiction groove, the story that I’m working on now will be my third “Steamy Short”! I find it both very challenging and exciting to write about sex, and boy oh boy I have a few slippery sexy scenes in the two books I’m writing, but to make the whole story salacious has been interesting to say the least. There’s a fine line between sexy and raunchy and believe me I’ve done my fair share of research. One of my fave authors Noire does it like no other she keeps it hot, heavy, and hood. Of course we can’t speak on Erotic fiction without mentioning the Mother Goddess of the genre Zane; Addicted was one of the first erotic novels I read. I also have a few “Red Light” books, you know the thin paperbacks you find in novelty stores on "The Block". My hats off to these successful authoresses for keeping it classy and sexy I love them both, and pray I can be half as successful as these trailblazers.

In writing my sensual shorts I always want to stay true to a plot line, although gratuitous sex and T&A is usually an attention grabber I’m a writer not a smut pusher lol. I want my reader to connect with my characters, enjoy a good story and be thoroughly entertained in the process. So as I weave sex into my stories or vice versa I’m looking for more than just shock value. I’m looking for one thounsand different words for Penis, one hundred different ways to convey an orgasm, fifty ways to describe a sexy character and a million different ways to keep folks reading. So wish me luck fam as I embark on this titillating journey, and don’t forget to vote for your girl. I’ll post the link once I submit my entry.

Age Is More Than Just A Number

As I muddle my way through social networking sites making new friends and meeting new people, I am surprised to find that younger dudes are more than willing to approach a 31 year old lady like myself. It tickles me that I'm approached more often by younger guys than older men. Could it be that most men my age have already found a mate and are "settled" therefore less interested in pursuing? Are younger guys more "available",more carefree and have fewer responsibilities thus making them more incline to "chase"?

Whatever the reason may be I'm still pretty partial to older guys. I must admit I'm more close-minded than usual when it comes to the idea of dating someone younger than I. Women mature faster than men so finding a guy on your level kinda requires that we date someone at least a year or two older. Don't get me wrong I'm sure there are some exceptions to this rule, younger guys who are mature beyond their years must be out there somewhere. Unfortunately I'm not interested in seeking them out considering they're probably far and few between. However age is not the end all be all in my criteria for a perspective mate, children play a big factor with me as well. Three years ago my rule was no kids, but lately I've had to relax on that rule. While I have been pretty successful in the past finding dudes who didn't have children or no more than one, I've come to the realization that if I want to continue to fish in the pool of older guys (as I get older) and exclude the younger ones I had to let this rule go.

So in revamping my qualifications I've become more open to the idea of dating a guy who has children, which opens a whole new can of worms. I'm not for any baby mama drama, crying broke because of child support payments, or a whole bunch of baggage you know the "I stay with my babymother but we ain't together" bs. I'm not bringing any of that with my situation so I require the same consideration in return.

Well recently I was approached by a dude who was about a year or two older, fine looking brother and he could hold a pretty decent conversation. We went through the typical "getting to know" each other convo, and when the subject of his children was brought up all sorts a red alarms stared blazing. He had three children their ages were something like 12, 9 and 2. I was appalled, how could he dare say he had a 2 year old and not even flinch. Call me old fashioned but in my brain that meant him and the mother HAD to be together right! On the flip side if he truly doesn't have anything going on with her maybe he should. Do I really want a man who is so free with spreading his seed? So nonchalant about having a baby with a shorty he can't stomach to be around for more than 7 years (or in this case 2 years) for the sake of his child.
When dude mentioned he had a 2 year old, I stopped all communication (without really telling him why) and moved on.Yes children are a blessing from the creator but in my world a baby less than 7 years of age equals baggage and babymama drama. If you have a seed under the age of six I'm sorry bro but in my book you are NOT single.

Making a Fashion Statement

I know I've been M.I.A. for a min, but I had some Computer issues :( I had to send my laptop to HP and it came back to like a complete stranger. They'd wiped my PC clean all my programs and downloads gone needless to say I was devastated. However now that we've taken the time to get reacquainted (my laptop and I), I bring you a short blog that will hopefully give you a chuckle and win your reading eyes back to me. So enjoy xoxo

Okay so we've all heard the expression "the clothes make the man" or "girl you wearing that dress!" well as I'm perusing around the Internet considering a little retail therapy
I peeped one of those "I love my boyfriend" t-shirts and my Pisces imagination started churning. What if we could always wear shirts that expressed our feelings, emotions or mood.Depending on what were wearing sometimes our moods can shift there's the infamous "freakum dress" the "come fuck me heels" and it seems that the people we interact with respond accordingly.

So imagine if when we get dressed every morning we simply rocked a t-shirt that describes your mood in three words or less. Would communication be more efficient, knowing the person's mood or current attitude before actually speaking to them? Would you think twice about divulging the gritty details of your cat's surgery if the person listening (or not listening) was wearing an "I don't give a shit" t-shirt? What do the t-shirts you would choose to wear most ofter say about you? So what 3 t-shirts would be in heavy rotation from my wardrobe.

#3. "Long Night"... self explanatory a polite way to say "I'm not in the mood today" plus it's work friendly lingo for "hungover" lol

#2." I love My boyfriend"... Yeah corny I know but I'd have to rock this one a few times appreciating my man now and than never hurts hell it usually works in my favor (insert sneaky laugh)

#1. "Are you serious"... because every now and then somebody needs a reality check, Yours truly included :)

So what would your top three t-shirts say? Your response could say a lot for how you view life and how you want to be viewed by others. Would your t-shirt collection be gloomy and negative, happy and optimistic or just plain weird?

Tread Lightly

Hell Hath No Furry
I’m not angry or on any kinda “all men are pigs” trip but for some reason (and I’ve written it before) The angry woman vibe suits my poetry. For some odd reason The “man-eater” poetry just comes to me. Although the tone of the poem is obvious I made a distinct point not to use any masculine pronouns, terms or nicknames in this one. So as you read it I invite you to personally consider who in your life this poem could be geared towards. Go ahead Let your inner divah Rrroar!





Could’ve
I know now that you’re not the one, but man we could’ve had so much fun
I learned the hard way that you’re a lying, cheating piece of scum what a terrible misfortune, but man we could’ve had so much fun
I can’t trust you as far as I can spit, good for nothing piece of shit and that’s my queue so I’m gonna split Surely you didn’t expect me to put up with this, you’re not sneaky, silly you’re so ruthless and dumb, but man we could’ve had so much fun
A tsunami of lies wrapped in a hurricane of selfishness begging me to suffer in this hell with you. You can stop now I’m so over it boo. On my Richter scale your tornado of damage will be less than 0.1, tryna shatter my heart and cause a river of tears to flow, I don’t think so. Deuce homie cause I gotta run, but man we could’ve had so much fun
You fooled me once but it won’t happen again, we both know how this story ends, misery from here on after no thanks, you can keep that to yourself friend. Animosity nah I have none and no apologies either you went all out tryna make me a believer, you get an E for effort, but no respect will come I’m moving on cause my work here is done, but man we could’ve had so much fun

Will this Exam be Multiple Choice or Essay?

Hey peeps Happy New Year! As I break my resolution not to make any resolution I’ve been trying to think of some interesting topics to blog about. Yes even the best of us suffer from writer’s block now and again, but never fear my dear readers I’m back :)

I’ve mentioned before that writing is my art, crafting words and molding stories hoping to entertain the masses. Often art imitates life and although I am a pretty private person I draw ideas for my art from my “exhilarating” life. However when sharing your personal experiences in a public forum there’s a fine line between entertainment and TMI. Anyway I was tossing ideas around in my head and decided to go with the one thing that sells and never fails to grab attention SEX, more specifically talking during sex. We’ve all done it from the typical “ohh yeah” to the mind blowing “holy shit Oh my god”.

So I thought to myself… How much is too much and how little is not enough? I guess the answer would depend on your partner and their needs. Now I’ve watched enough flicks to know that most men enjoy a “vocal” lady. They like to be reassured that they are “hitting the spot”. Flicks just like any other televised entertainment tend to exaggerate and over compensate, so giving your best Janet Jackme impression when your man isn’t giving his best Wesley Pipes could cum off as fake. What if your partner likes a good sexy verbal exchange and you’re more of the silent type? For the record I’m not the “vocal” type, it has to happen organically for me. If he’s hitting the spot or the mood strikes me than I’ll coo and purr like a tigress all night long. However I don’t enjoy being asked a multitude of questions, while in the act. I mean honestly guys if you must ask questions (more than once) to get a response outta your girl just appreciate the quiet moment. Usually if a dude is putting in his best Wesley Pipes work my words would be mostly incoherent moans and slurs. I don’t wanna have to come up with a sexy response to a question like “How much do you love this dick?” Really what does one respond that, spread your eagles and say “this much”. It’s just no fun in my opinion to have to worry about my sexual performance and wonder if I provided the proper answers to his interrogation, but to each his own.

It seems talking during sex is as varied as the individuals doing it.
There’s the coaching/directing convo: “you like it like that” or “right there” this convo can be used during intercourse or oral (although I have mixed feelings about dudes coaching while receiving but that’s a whole different blog).

There’s the cocky badass convo: “Yeah do that shit” or “what’s my name”. This convo can be disastrous if used at the wrong time.

There’s the encouraging convo: “you’re the best” or the classic “Oh my god!” This convo usually marks the end of a session/the climax.

Then there’s the sweet talk convo: “You're so beautiful” or of course “I love you”. This convo is usually the dude’s idea of foreplay, or signals attachment for couples who have been together awhile.

I could go on and on... from name calling to screaming matches the list is infinite.

Eventhough I’m not an extremely vocal person I do know that communication is key to a good relationship. So whether you and your lover are the coaching, cocky, or sweet talking type by all means be heard, but don’t forget to listen.