I Pledge Allegiance To Your Marriage:
Okay so I’m sitting here watching Basketball Wives cracking up at all the drama and loving the ladies' style. Reality TV is such a guilty pleasure of mine. Anyway the “wives” main topic of conversation is the plight of being in a relationship with a pro athlete, you know the groupies, the infidelity, wondering what your man is doing while he’s on the road and blah blah blah. So I’m watching this one episode where they approach a known “groupie” and basically go in on her, lmao. It’s no secret that pro athletes and men in general are surrounded by temptation at all times. There are groupies on all levels from the around the way neighborhood chicks, to the “Superheads” in the industry.
At some point in their lives every woman has either dealt with infidelity or played the role of a mistress and if she says she hasn’t she’s either in denial or extremely gullible. Watching this episode of Basketball Wives made me think of Tiger Woods and Cynthia Shackleford, the woman who gained notoriety for suing her husband’s mistress. Tiger irks me because he was so sloppy with his shit. Dealing with infidelity is one thing but having all your dirty laundry aired in the public eye is another. What Tiger does behind closed doors is his business and it has no bearing on how great an athlete he is, but he should’ve done a better job of keeping his sideline in check. As for the Shackleford’s situation I know most females would stand up and applaud her for what she did, but I take the opposite stance on this issue.
Wives complain about mistresses and groupie chicks all the time. They talk about how the chick knew he was married, how the mistress targeted their husbands, how these women put themselves on display and throw themselves at men, and for those reasons they place the blame of their husband’s infidelity on the mistress. Taking all their anger and frustration out on the “other woman” who was simply doing what she does best. I’m not saying what these mistresses do is right but in my opinion the anger and hostility of these jilted wives and girlfriends is misdirected. As they scream and rant, kick fight and claw at the mistress the man who promised to love them and be true is absolved of all responsibilities and his role in the situation is overshadowed by the female drama. Plus he gets to sit back and enjoy a good cat fight.
Now don’t get me wrong as you read this blog, I’ve been there egging my homegirl on while she cursed out some slutty hussy that was sleeping with her man and I’ve even cursed out a slutty whore or two myself. However in the end I make the MAN responsible for breaking his vow. I’m all about girl power and sisterhood but blaming the female in an adulterous affair in my opinion is the opposite of sisterhood. These women who blame the other woman are sending the wrong message… “Oh my poor (stupid) husband/boyfriend fell victim to this groupie’s slutty ways. How could he refuse her look how she carries herself” It seems we women are more willing to turn on each other than to place the blame where it rightfully should be. The cold truth is you know your man and if it wasn’t shorty down the block it would’ve been homemgirl around the corner.
I’m not saying all men cheat but I do believe that western culture puts some unrealistic expectations in people’s minds when it comes to relationships. I love the idea of marriage and commitment and I hope to be married one day. However If you look at other societies and cultures men can take on as many wives as they can afford to support, and in most cases there is a kind of hierarchy (like a first wife, or mother wife…) which ensures everyone knows their role/place in an effort to prevent any drama. And if one gets out of pocket it’s the man’s responsibility to make it right not the wives’.
The attitude that women “trap” men into cheating is part of the reason that I’m single now. I refuse to absolve my man from the responsibility of keeping his word to me. You won’t blow our money on your mistress and say “she made me do it”, you won’t embarrass me by putting our business in the street because “she made me do it” you won’t expose me to STD’s and say “she made me do it”. Men need to learn how to keep their shit in check or just don’t cheat. Unfortunately this will not happen until women place the blame where it should be. At the end of the day it was your man who vowed to honor, love and cherish you forsaking all others to death do you part. It was you and him who decided to commit to and respect your relationship, NOT the mistress or the groupie. She has no allegiance to your marriage and no stake in the success of your relationship so why place the blame on her when your man cheats on you. Why make her responsible for your dude breaking his vow.
You can talk about disrespect all day long but in the end no one put a gun to your man’s head and made him cheat. Instead of tearing each other down women should stand together and make the man responsible for his actions. Shackelford and the mistress should’ve gotten together and sued her husband for his role in the situation, hang his ass out to dry and move on. You gotta pay to play homeboy. LOL Smiley-face Have a nice day (In my Nicky Minaj voice of course)
